I didn't get the job at the law firm. Yes, even with nepotism on my side, I may just be unemployable (No love for the femme-looking dyke in the leather jacket who plans on getting a master's degree).

It didn't really bother me when I found out. They sent me their answer in the form of a letter. Also didn't bother me. Then I found out that my grandfather *opened* said letter, read it, then called my aunt to talk about it all before I got home that night. *That bothered me*. Much as I love my family... *throttles*. It's. My. Life.

Some good stuff that happened this week: I got my bicycle. It's a green Roadmaster mountain bike, rusty in places but otherwise in great condition. I've ridden around the complex every morning for the past three days. Haven't decided what to name it yet.

I also finished Chapter 3, applied for summer internships at the Healthy Planet and the Riverfront Times and revamped "Storm" into an original story with two college *girls* in the place of Rick and Vyvyan. It works almost *better* (two women fucking like adrenalin junkies in their front yard, in the middle of a rainstorm). I trust nyghtshayde's judgement and she seemed to like it. Now I just need to decide where to send it in.

I also found an ad for a position at the Morning News in Fayetteville. Already sent an application by e-mail and I'm posting a hard copy later today. It can't hurt and if I can't make a living here, Fayetteville's one of a few places I would go.

Being on my own -- nice. Being six hours away from people who open my mail -- well, that'd be nice, too.

..so I rented it on Christmas Eve, along with "Yellow Submarine" and "Futurama: Bender's Big Score." Good stuff.

Everyone seemed pleased with their gifts. Uncle Matt seemed really pleased with his copy of Siddhartha in German. Grandpa liked his copy of The Killer Angels. Caitlin loved her copy of Me and Mr. Darcy. Have I mentioned we're a family of bookworms?

My Xmas haul:

- a pink and grey fleece scarf, gloves and hat
- The Story of Philosophy and John Fowles The Magus (both from Steve, MOTY's boyfriend. Very odd.)
- iTunes gift card
- two Borders gift cards
- If You Meet the Buddha.. photo book.
- handmade journal with the Hindi goddess Lakshmi on the cover (this, along with the Buddha book, came from Caitlin, not Erica -- though my sister did sign my Christmas card with "Hari Rama")
- "Selections from Sweeney Todd" CD
- Byron's Poetry
- Percy Shelley Selections (which I already had, I ended up giving my copy to Jason)
- a black v-neck sweater
- two camis: one white, one wine-coloured
- a grey skirt
- a small handbag (what is it with the Horvaths and buying me hoodies and handbags?)
- a purple velvet shirt

Last, but not least, an 8 GB Sansa MP3 player from wintermexican and johnnyskull (thank you so much!). I've already got it half-filled and named it "John Loves Paul."

I ended up working a double-shift on the 21st, so that I could attend Horvath family Christmas at my grandmother's that Sunday. I really needn't have bothered.

As usual, I love seeing my cousins -- from the 17-year-old who listens to HIM and wears his hair long in spire of his redneck dad's objections, to the one-year-old, who popped my Tara pendant in his mouth while I was holding him. Also as usual, their parents made me lose my appetite and caused my Xmas cheer to plummet. Between the rednecks, the homophobes, the self-righteous cunts, the pretending to be "one big happy family" when in reality Vickie and Stacey can't stand my mother, my mother resents them both, my Republican-voting grandmother plays the Catholic Donna Reed, pretending not to notice that two of her children are divorced, one's been convicted of domestic violence and is not married to the current mother of his child.. I may come out to all of them just for the pure pleasure of being disowned.

Unfortunately, Karen was pretty much her usual self on this visit: on Christmas Eve, there was apparently a miscommunication between her and Uncle Matt as to who would be picking up Erica and Adam, when, etc. My mother, being the little princess that she is, was staying at the Hyatt-Union Station in downtown StL. She ended up sending my brother and sister to my grandfather's in Oakville (located in South St. Louis *County*) in a taxi.

With no cab fare.

When Erica asked about it, MOTY apparently said "well you've got money, and if it ends up being more than what you have, ask Grandpa to give you the rest."

There are days I truly cannot believe I came out of that woman.

Erica's boyfriend gave her a promise ring during the visit and she's more determined than ever to move back to StL. If I get this job in Longview, that brings her one step closer and that's bound to make things *really* interesting..

Speaking of which, I had my phone interview with the managing editor of the Longview News-Journal a week ago and I'm flying down for a face-to-face interview on the 13th. *happy dance*

Once again, I've fallen behind in my journalling..

It's been a pretty decent week, not much is new: worked my first two shifts at Sharper Image as a sales associate. I sold almost $1,100 worth of merchandise the first day and a little more than $1,200 the second. I was in third place for most sales both days when I clocked out. Commission's only at 1/2% right now but this also means I'm going to be getting some more shifts as Jonah writes the schedule.

I'm right on schedule with my savings and Xmas budget. *relief*

Thanksgiving was wonderful this year! Grandpa and I went to Uncle Matt's again. Uncle Matt made two turkey's again -- one oven-ready and one smoked turkey, and the stuffing Grandma used to make. When I went downstairs to get a beer, I found out he'd bought a six-pack of Newcastle *just for me*. It's odd to say, but that was a very nice moment for me, made me feel all warm inside.

Caitlin and Cara came down from Dayton a couple days before. Cait had her 21st birthday celebration the night before and was "tired" on the couch, watching "Top Chef" when we got there. Maggie had to work, but Kay brought the twins and Danny. Nickie and Jackie are 16 now and it was the first time I realized that they're both almost as tall as me (as opposed to Cait and Cara, who are *taller*). They're learning to drive but according to Kay, it's pretty hard to take twins out for practice driving.

Nickie and Jackie and Cara all commented on how great I look now, how skinny I've gotten. Cara, who's pretty thin herself, asked me what I'd been doing. I sort of muffed my answer there. Because I haven't been doing *anything* really, except working a lot -- spending hours on my feet at two jobs, walking around re-stocking shelves and talking to customers, drinking a lot of caffeine and not eating after midnight. I have no idea if i've lost any weight because I haven't weighed myself since I threw the bathroom scale off the balcony last March (the spot where it landed is visible in the woods now that the leaves are off the trees). And I consider that a good thing. If I can go the rest of my life not knowing how much I exactly weigh, I want to do that. Just tell my doctors not to tell me the exact number unless it's an extreme emergency (and I think I'll know if and when it is anyway).

andiefreude came into StL for the holiday and we got to hang out twice. We went out for coffee at Borders Friday and we got together again on Sunday to watch "Polyester" and go to Cartel, the city's only 24-hour coffee house. Justin's one of a handful of people in my life who I can talk to about both my past and my present, having been there for a lot of the former (we met on the schoolbus when we were 13). And he understands the "jobsearch blues" in way that most of my friends other don't.

Caroline and I went out to the Moolah Theatre in downtown this past Thursday. The Moolah used to be the Shriner's theatre (hence the name) and was turned into a single cinema theatre and lounge a couple of years ago. They usually either host really big budget blockbuster films or really obscure independent films. Caroline saw "King Kong" there and recently, they ran "The Assasination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford." They have a bar set up in front off to the side of the concessions counter. The inside of the theater has black leather couches and end-tables instead of chairs.

Thursday night, the theatre was hosting a benefit for Hostel International called "ClerksFest." You guessed it: they ran Clerks I and II back to back. For $25 admission, we got a Clerksfest t-shirt, a Mooby's sticker and cup and a wristband ("Snootchie-Bootchies" or "What's a Nubian?") They had a couple contests there and a raffle. Two couples showed up dressed as Jay and Bob. It was a lot of fun. And the organization sounds interesting -- they have a website and were asking for volunteers, so that's something I might look into. If nothing else, it could make for an interesting article.

I'm working on a new article for Vital Voice (without having gotten paid yet for my *last* article) on sexual myths, specifically sexual myths for the "clueless married." Refuting things like "pulling out decreases the chances of pregnancy" "gay couples always have a *man* and a *woman*" "sexual health is only a woman's concern," etc. This time I'm not even waiting for my local experts to get back to me, I'm gathering my own info online and I'm going to call back and check with them for accuracy if they haven't sent me their own answers by Wednesday. Waiting until the zero hour for people's responses got me into some shit last time and produced an article I didn't care for too much. Lesson learned.

I sent in my critique of the Longview News-Journal's sections last Monday and I'm phoning the managing editor tomorrow to see if they're interested in having me come down for a face-to-face interview. *fingers crossed* Something about leaving Missouri to write for a daily newspaper really excites me. I want this so bad. And, hey, Longview's another step closer to New Orleans.