patience, bourbon, and hemlock

Watching television after the health care vote in the House..

2009-11-11T23:37:02Z

ME: "Huh. Angry grey-haired white men. Just as I thought. Not that I'm prejudiced. I'll have grey hair someday."
AUB: "No you won't."
ME: "No I won't."
AUB: "Even though you've got some now."
ME: "Shut up!"

I cannot wait..

2009-11-04T05:25:22Z

..until there's a KnowThyNeighbor.org for all the people that donated to the Yes on Prop 1 campaign in Maine.

I'm sending every one of those cunts an HRC sticker and a photo of two men kissing.

I can't say I'm tired. After five years, I cannot say I'm tired of fighting the bigots, the conservatives, the evangelicals, the self-righteous, the hypocrites, the people that want me in chains, the people that want to "put me in my place," the people that want me *dead*. That would be an insult to all the people who have been fighting for 40 years or more. I'll keep fighting.

I'll continue to fight. I'll vote and write my cheques and I'll smile and wink at anyone who thinks calling me a "degenerate" is an insult when they waste so much of their energy hating me for something I can't change and would never want to. I feel sorry for anyone who doubts that I'm a force to be reckoned with because I have love in my heart unlike them. What's more, I have people who love me for who I am and think it's absurd that any government would consider me less than a person much less my own.

They can have their petty little battles. I know who I am and I know what my rights are. I won my own war a long time ago and no one's snatching that victory away from me.

Happy All Saints Day

2009-11-01T15:29:26Z

This has already been an odd one for me.

tehgreatllama died Thursday night.

It was storming that night. They think he was driving too fast, hydroplaned and flipped his truck into a ditch around a steep curve. They found him Friday morning after his mother filed a missing person's report.

I met him in August, 2005 along with Maggie, Mikey and Melissa. All of them were freshmen from ASMS, an Arkansas school for kids gifted in science and mathematics. They all came to their first PRIDE meeting as a unit but, over the years I felt I got to know each one of them individually.

Alex was a lit geek like me. The only class we ever took together was an honors colloquium on Multicultural Britain, where we got to watch "My Beautiful Laundrette" and read Absolute Beginners -- a "queer little book" according to him. I agreed. When I started to write my book, Alex was the first one I really consulted on the narrative, the themes of Americans in Britain and the cultural exchange between the two nations, the genderfuck of a couple characters. I think we bored Mikey and everyone else to tears the night we went over my notes -- off in our own little world.

I'm sorry I didn't finish it in time for him to read it. I'm even more sorry that I hadn't spoken with him in so long. He has a place on my altar now: my Colin MacInnes reader is on the third tier, between the jack o' lantern and the dish of dried apricots I left out for my dad.

R.I.P. Alex. Let the wild rumpus begin.

I have no idea..

2009-10-24T18:34:32Z

..how a coffee house can be for "womyn born womyn and girl children only." But I'm pretty sure I don't want to get a cup of coffee from there.

I wonder if the dyke couples with boy children in their strollers get turned away at the door?

From now on...

2009-10-15T21:54:02Z

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Queer and Loathing in D.C.

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Ron Paul Interview

...I want to be known as "Bi-Furious". *evil grin*

And bless "The Daily Show" for linking my people with Hunter S. Thompson. That made me giggle.

Because I'm a music enthusiast..

2009-09-30T02:26:09Z

..in addition to my other talents.

An ancient meme from minikitkatgirl:

First you pick 10 of your favorite band members/musicians. ~DON'T LOOK AHEAD AT THE QUESTIONS BEFORE YOU ANSWER! IT WILL SPOIL THE QUIZ!~

1. Elkie Brooks
2. Ronnie Spector
3. Neil Innes
4. Peter Tork
5. Micky Dolenz
6. Paul McCartney
7. John Lennon
8. Amy Winehouse
9. Deborah Harry
10. Joey Ramone

1. Number 5 [Micky Dolenz] was stranded on the toilet because he/she was out of paper?

Not in my house he wouldn't be. We just stocked the bathroom to the gills with everything.

2. You came home one day and found Number 3 [Neil Innes] and Number 7 [John Lennon] in your house, both drunk out of their minds?
I'd go and fix myself a drink and grab my notebook. Maybe we could get some good songs or poems out of the evening.

3. Number 8 [Amy Winehouse] offered to fix the plumbing problems with your house?
No, no, a *thousand times* no. She'd steal all the pipes.

4. Number 2 [Ronnie Spector] showed up at school as your substitute teacher for the day?
I would get no work done. I'd be too busy staring at her.

5. You accidentally saw Number 10 [Joey Ramone] wearing nothing but a small, purple Speedo?
I think my brain would bleed a little bit, then I'd go and retrieve his jacket or YooHoo t-shirt for him -- because I can't picture him in anything else.

6. Number 3 [Neil Innes] insisted on driving you around town to wherever you wanted to go for the entire day?
I would be absolutely thrilled if that happened -- especially if it was London or L.A. He seems to have such a unique relationship with both cities, as he has with life in general. I'd be very interested to see what he considered a unique site-seeing tour.

7. Number 9 [Deborah Harry] killed Number 4 [Peter Tork] right in front of you?
I would actually be rather torn here, because I've loved both of them since I was three years old.

Would you allow:

1. Number 6 [Paul McCartney] to redecorate your house for you, however they see fit?
Absolutely. He's environmentally-friendly, has great taste in clothes and cars. I love all the photos Linda took of their house in Sussex. I think he'd do a good job.

2. Number 1 [Elkie Brooks] to be your dentist and work in your mouth with a drill?
Ummm. Love Elkie, but the shortest book in the world is still the book on British dentistry. No thanks.

3. Number 10 [Joey Ramone] and Number 5 [Micky Dolenz] to be left alone in your house or apartment?
Probably not. Joey would probably clean everything in sight and Micky would probably bring a lot of disorder to everything in sight. And I have a sneaking suspicion I would be minus a couple key LPs after they both left.

4. Number 8 [Amy Winehouse] to borrow some of your clothes and wear them in public?
No, because I would require her to bring them back *in tact*, and I can't see her not cutting the sleeves off some of my favourite t-shirts or burning holes in them with her cigarettes.

5. Number 2 [Ronnie Spector] to try to fix your computer when it's messed up?
I don't know if Ronnie knows how to use a computer so no.

6. Number 4 [Peter Tork] to set you up on a date with Number 9 [Deborah Harry]?
Awww *kisses Peter*. He's such a sweetheart, he probably *would* do that and yes, I'd let him.

7. Number 1 [Elkie Brooks] and Number 3 [Neil Innes] to operate heavy machinery together?
Somehow I can't visualize that scenario *without* a tinkling Keystone Kops piano medley in the background (and Vivian Stanshall singing). Only if I can pop popcorn and watch.

Relationship Section:

1. Number 5 [Micky Dolenz] asks Number 2 [Ronnie Spector] out on a date. Upon seeing this, what do you do or say?
Micky, don't you dare mess this up.

2. Number 7 [John Lennon] asks you to a dance. Do you accept?
One dance, sure.

3. Number 8 [Amy Winehouse] and Number 9 [Deborah Harry] are fighting over you. What happens now?
Debbie kicks Amy's ass up one side and down the other.

4. Number 1 [Elkie Brooks] tries to kiss you. What do you do?
Close my eyes and count my lucky stars.

5. Number 3 [Neil Innes] confesses his secret love for Number 5 [Micky Dolenz]. Again.
That's a little strange. Although I do think he would have fit in well with the Bonzos, I think Micky's hyperactivity in the old days would have put him off immediately.

6. Number 6 [Paul McCartney] is cheating on Number 7 [John Lennon] with Number 3 [Neil Innes], and you find out about it. What do you do?
Whoa. Does it blow anyone else's mind that this scenario is actually historically *plausible*? Given the timing of the particular historical window, I would say nothing -- because John was being a dick and totally deserved it.

7. Number 4 [Peter Tork] proposes to you. Your reaction?
YES.

Random Nonsense:
1. What in the name of Holy Rabbit Dogs was Number 1 [Elkie Brooks] doing outside in nothing but a small pink towel at 3 AM!?
Umm.. whatever she likes?

2. What if Number 2 [Ronnie Spector] tied Number 4 [Peter Tork] to a flagpole and threw shoes at him until he cried?
Wrong Monkee, Ronnie. I'd shoo her off and help Peter down.

3. ...and then Number 8 [Amy Winehouse] and Number 5 [Micky Dolenz] danced around the table naked. Your reaction upon seeing this?
I'd tell them not to knock anything off my table and shut the door behind me (there's no drugs in there, they can't get into TOO much trouble).

4. Number 10 [Joey Ramone] has just officially been given a Pyro License. What happens now?
Every smoker that needs a light has a new best friend? Not much else really. Unless Dee Dee Ramone steals it and uses it for personal gain.

5. Would YOU tell Number 9 [Deborah Harry] to "WOO! TAKE IT ALL OFF!"...?
Absolutely. The woman is in her sixties and *still* gorgeous.

6. What was Number 6 [Paul McCartney] in prison for?
Telling Michael Jackson's doctor (or Yoko Ono's. Or Ruth McCartney's. Or Francie Schwartz's..) to go ahead and pull the plug.

7. What if, suddenly, Number 4 [Peter Tork] smashed through the wall of your room totally naked, posed, and shouted "OHHHH YEEEEAAAAH!"...?
I would ask him what drugs Micky gave him (I want some). Then I'd invite him in.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF...

1.Number 1 [Elkie Brooks] woke you up in the middle of the night?
Cross my fingers that it's a late night serenade and not bad news.

2. Number 2 [Ronnie Spector] asked you to go out with her?
I'd give a restrained "yes" and try to refrain from jumping up and down until she was far away.

3. Number 3 [Neil Innes] walked into the bathroom while you're showering?
I'd shriek and then tell him to take the piano into a different room.

4. Number 4 [Peter Tork] cooked you dinner?
I'd giggle like a schoolgirl and bring sorbet for dessert.

5. Number 5 [Micky Dolenz] was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?
Play Antigone and cover his body with grit.

6. Number 8 [Amy Winehouse] got into the hospital somehow?
*Somehow*? I'd turn up with a magazine and a cigarette to smoke over her oxygen tank. She'll never be back in the hospital again -- she'll be too afraid I'll blow her up.

7. Number 9 [Deborah Harry] made fun of your friends?
I can't see Debbie doing that. If Joey was the "nice guy" of punk rock, she was the nice girl.

8. Number 10 [Joey Ramone] ignored you all the time?
Take it in stride. Life is more than one rock singer.

-WHAT WOULD THEY DO UNDER THE FOLLOWING CIRCUMSTANCES?-
1. Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will Number 1 [Elkie Brooks] do?
Distract them with 40-year-old footage of her "Shindig!" performances.

2. You're on a vacation with Number 2 [Ronnie Spector] and you manage to break your leg. What does Number 2 do?
I think she probably goes and charms some customer service person out of a wheelchair for me.

3. It's your birthday. What will 3 [Neil Innes] give you?
A big "Alias Normal Man" duck hat like I always wanted.

4. You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does Number 4 [Peter Tork] do?
Run in, save the guitar, the keyboard, the Nina Simone and Bunker Hill records, the weed, THEN me.

5. You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will Number 5 [Micky Dolenz] do?
He'll do it before me, wearing a wig and a dress and cackling like mad. Just to show it's no big deal (and because he does it everyday anyway)

6. You're about to marry Number 10 [Joey Ramone] What's Number 6's [Paul McCartney] reaction?
Well wishes, flowers, a piano for the new house, and a peck on the cheek on the wedding day.

7. You got dumped by someone. How will Number 7 [John Lennon] cheer you up?
Make a voodoo doll and play a little improvised piece on the white piano about how the bastard is no good anyway.

8. You're angry about it afterwards, how does Number 8 [Amy Winehouse] calm you down?
Calm me down? She'll find out where they live and torch their house!

9. You compete in some tournament. How does Number 9 [Deborah Harry] support you?
Show up in a spectacular understated leather jacket and ballcap covering her wig with a face-full of immaculate Chanel make-up.

10. You can't stop laughing. What will Number 10 [Joey Ramone] do?
Poke me probably. Or just let me laugh.

-RELATIONSHIP PART-

1. Number 1 [Elkie Brooks] is all you've ever dreamed of.
She's brilliant, gorgeous and has a voice that still makes me want to cry. But no. Of everyone on this list, she's the one I only recently started listening to.

2. Number 2 [Ronnie Spector] tells you about his deeply hidden love for Number 9 [Deborah Harry]. Your reaction?
I would be surprised considering Ronnie's friendship with skeletor Patti Smith -- the same former housewife who told Debbie to "get the fuck out of rock n' roll" because her bleached hair and lipstick were ruining it for other women and she didn't stand a chance against the Rimbaud-spewing writer of "Horses" anyway... And then I'd tell her to go for it.

3. You're dating Number 3 [Neil Innes] and introduce him to your parents. Will they get along?
My father and Neil Innes? Oh hell yes they would (and did, if I remember correctly). My father was an absurdist and anti-authoritarian at heart. My mother is a bit more conventional, but seems to be attracted to men that aren't.

4. Number 4 [Peter Tork] loves Number 9 [Deborah Harry] as well. What does that mean?
It means Deb's going to have to make a choice and I'll take the runner-up. Or, push come to shove, pair Peter up with Micky.

5. Number 6 [Paul McCartney] appears to be a player, he breaks many hearts. What do you do?
I'm supposed to do something?

6. You had a haircut and Number 7 [John Lennon] can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?
Do I have something in my hair? Did my hair colour react badly to the chlorine in the swimming pool? Ultimate conclusion: he's just jealous because mine looks better than his.

7. Number 8 [Amy Winehouse] thinks she'll never get a girlfriend. What will you tell her?
Clean up, take care of your body and your mental health and maybe you will.

8. Number 9 [Deborah Harry] is too shy to face you and confesses their love by sending you an e-mail. Now what?
I don't believe she's too shy to tell me in person. Who's using Debbie's e-mail? (My first guess is Jayne County).

-FRIENDSHIP PART-
1. Could Number 1 [Elkie Brooks] and Number 6 [Paul McCartney] be soul mates?
I think so. Both of their music careers started in the early 1960s. They're both fans of jazz, theatrical vocals, show music. Both ambitious as hell even today. I don't see a relationship standing up though -- they're both too fond of work.

2. Would Number 2 [Ronnie Spector] trust Number 5 [Micky Dolenz]?
Think he's funny as hell, fun to hang out with? Yes. And they'd have a lot to talk about, both having gotten involved in show business when they were so young. Trust? Ehhh... I'll put a no here just to be safe. I don't know that Ronnie trusts most men and who can blame her?

3. Number 3 [Neil Innes] wants to go shopping, will Number 7 [John Lennon] come along?
Totally. Esp. if they're going shopping for instruments or books.

4. Number 4 [Peter Tork] is bored and pokes Number 10 [Joey Ramone]. What happens after that?
I think a ten-hour conversation about New York City, Greenwich Village, the Bowery, clubs they played in, restaurants they loved and people they met there. Oddly, I think Joey dressing in drag during the glam rock era and Bohemian!Peter dating other boys would also come up fleetingly in there somewhere.

5. Number 5 [Micky Dolenz] and Number 1 [Elkie Brooks] are forced to go back to school together. What study will they pick?
Theatre Arts, silly.

6. If Number 6 [Paul McCartney] and Number 3 [Neil Innes] cooked dinner, what would they make?
Something vegetarian, delicious and hilarious.

7. Number 7 [John Lennon] and Number 8 [Amy Winehouse] apply for a job. What job?
Clinical study for treatment of manic depression.

8. Number 9 [Deborah Harry] gives Number 5 [Micky Dolenz] a haircut. Is that OK?
Yes. She's eccentric and stylish with a very glamorous, timeless look. I think she'd give him the same treatment. And take away his hats, I hope.

9. Number 8 [Amy Winehouse] sketches what Number 1's [Elkie Brooks] perfect girlfriend/boyfriend should look like.
I'd be too afraid that sketch would look like Blake. Or Paul McCartney.
.
10. Number 10 [Joey Ramone] and Number 3 [Neil Innes] are blushing while they talk. What is the conversation about?
I can't imagine much making either of these guys blush... Unless it involves the Beatles: Joey was a fan, Neil was a friend of George's and is a friend of Ringo's.

Woke up this morning, everything was fine..

2009-09-26T01:11:13Z

..Went to work at the Academy, everything was fine.

Came home, and all of a sudden I want to stick my fingers in the light socket.

I'm not sure what's wrong with me.

Long ago tag from nyghtshayde..

2009-09-25T15:18:43Z

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

nyghtshayde gave me Writing, Queer, Independence, Equality and Friendship

1) Writing Salvation, in a nutshell. It's been the only thing I've ever wanted to do since I was nine years old. When times have been bad, it's been a pressure release valve for me. When times have been good, it's been a way for me to build worlds and characters that I think *should* exist or, in the case of fanfiction, to add my own narrative structure and style to an existing compendium.

2) Queer In college, I got away from calling myself bisexual partly because there was such a negative connotation attached to the word: people impose their own sexual baggage on your when you tell them you're bisexual (whereas if you tell them you're queer, it merely confounds them into inaction). And partly because while bisexual is what I am, that terminology is also too narrow a fit for my total identity. I'm bisexual, but also pan-sexual -- because I don't believe in an inherent gender binary (i.e. everyone being either male or female, man or woman). Because I grew up with people like Jason and Justin, I'm also a lifelong fag hag. I write lesbian fiction with erotic and graphic sexual scenes, but I also write gay male fiction and -- when the mood strikes me -- het fiction. I'm kinky. I've loved men and women; was engaged to a 26-year-old long-haired male evangelical Christian who'd made underachieving a lifetime pursuit; am engaged to a 27-year-old female former soldier who's shown more strength, resolve and ambition than anyone I've ever known at any level of age. What *isn't* queer about all of that?

3) Equality On a government level in North America, it's a return to constitutional credo: all men are created equal (and no semantics argument: Jefferson meant *everyone* when he wrote that). On a personal level, to me, it means a total, unequivocal acceptance of the fact that we are all made of the same stuff, all have the right to be alive, all have the right to live free so long as we don't do anyone any harm. I'm not sure everyone looks at everyone else on their city street and feels that way. Even myself.

4) Friendship Family, first and foremost. More than family in some ways because unlike blood family, you choose your friends. You invite people into your life that you like and hope will be beneficial to your well-being (but aren't always). It's constructing your own kinship apart from and sometimes intermingled with the one you acquired at birth; surrounding yourself with people who will allow you to be yourself and grow as you need to. It's also creating a circle of people who are a safe space to run to when your family (or your government) fails you in some way.

5) Independence Being able to choose how you want to live your life and making the means to do it for yourself. I feel like I've been struggling for independence most of my adult life even though, most of the time, I didn't really need to. I've been fortunate enough that no one's ever really sought to control me through money, shared space, sex, etc. I was allowed from an early age to have a certain independence over my body and physicality -- to dress and style my hair the way I wanted. From the age of thirteen, I was able to pick my own church, my own religion, follow my spiritual journey to whereve it was going. I've worked since I was 17 and maintained as much financial independence as I could -- when you pay your own bills, some people think twice about telling you what to do or how you should live your life.

So that treadmill I talked about..

2009-09-24T21:21:19Z

..ended up lasting seven weeks.

My calves are still burning.

For those who are interested, the details are behind the cuts. For everyone else, the totality of the last two months can be summed up in three photos:

It was an amazing wedding, wonderful reception, a fantastic two days. I literally broke down and cried when it was all over.

The four of us hit the ground running prompty at eleven o'clock Thursday. We grabbed lunch at Panera Bread and headed over to the nail place afterward. Missy and Van picked out this powder-sky blue polish for the bridesmaids to wear that matched the accent of our dresses. Caroline got a french cut for her fingers and a sparkly metallic blue for her toes. I was the only one wearing combat boots and elected to go just with a manicure.

I ran home afterward to throw a bunch of my things into a bag, throw some towels in the dryer and grab a couple bank slips. Arranging a transfer from the Anheuser-Busch Credit Union to a Bank of America account is next to impossible to do either electronically or on paper at just *one bank*, and it is NO FU to do in 90+ degree weather with no air-conditioning in your car. I met Aubrey back at the hotel afterward and both of us dressed for the rehearsal.

The rehearsal went smoothly, in spite of the minister being late. The surprise location of the rehearsal dinner ended up being the Triumph Museum and Restaurant downtown (*angels singing in the background*). Jonathon being a motorcycle fanatic, this was a wonderful surprise. His father also put together a video slideshow of photos from the bride and groom's childhood. Caroline gave the bridesmaids their presents: matching earrings, bracelets and chokers for the ceremony and matching monogrammed tote bags. We commented on how appropriate they were -- since the two moms can use them as diaper bags and, me, the transplant could use it in the move.

Aub left early and Caroline's brother, Daniel, and his wife, Carrie, treated us to a drink at the Tap Room. I stayed the night with Caroline at her mother's place, up in her childhood bedroom (where we used to play Nintendo with Nine Inch Nails and Green Day albums playing in the background) with her childhood cat. Bubbi is 21 years old (Gaia old in cat years) and has a "meow" like a rusty bike chain. Caroline and her mom fell asleep downstairs watching a late movie and I fell asleep upstairs, reading my copy of Contrarywise.

We met Missy and Van up at the salon and got our hair done. Missy was kind enough to walk over to Walgreens and get coffees for everyone. We all made bets on who would have the most bobby pins in their hair by the end of the night The bride and I went to the Chanel counter at the Galleria afterward and got our make-up done: we got lots of lovely honks and congratulations from strangers as we walked across the parking lot and through the stores (I've concluded I have to get my make-up done the day I get married for just this reason). From there we grabbed a liquid lunch at Starbucks, went back to the house and loaded her mom's car with our dresses, gifts for Rene, the two moms and dads.

The backroom at the church was not as frenzied as I thought it would be: Van and Missy brought snacks and bottles of water, which we nipped at lightly. We got into our dresses and helped Caroline into hers, posed for photographs in the church. Van and Missy had me take off a sapphire necklace Aubrey loaned me for the ceremony, so we'd be more symmetrical -- this turned out to be a ploy to get me out of the room while Rene was there, collecting her gift, because everyone was afraid the bitch would start something while I was there. We posed for photos in the sanctuary and outside in the garden with Caroline and her two nephews, Danny and Noah, who were also the ring bearers. We sneaked back into the bridal chamber through a passageway in the back so no one would see us. The afternoon sped along very quickly..

Then we had to line up to walk down the aisle.

I walked slowly, didn't trip on the heels I was wearing. I held Caroline's handkerchief for her, passed it to her when she needed it, fixed her train, signed the certificate, worked the receiving line with Van and Missy (the groomsmen mysteriously disappeared into an air-conditioned room while we sweated in the foyer) and managed not to cry myself.

I saved crying for the photo shoot on Art Hill in Forest Park. For those who don't know, Art Hill is the name given to the massive hill the St. Louis Art Museum was built on. It's a popular spot for wedding and event photo shoots because of it's location, the fountains, statues and the lovely bridge and tributaries that run parallel to the museum at the bottom of the hill.

Guess who had to trek down that hill in three-inch spike heels?

And made the mistake of talking to the best man when we made the trek?

I inhaled a fly.

Luckily, Chanel make-up is impervious to tears.

The shoot went well. When we weren't being posed, the eight of us got to zoom around the park in a stretch limousine, sipping champaign and listening to the oldies station. We made it to the reception hall with no trouble, made out entrances -- not to a jamming dance mix, but to the Vivaldi track I use as a ringback tone on my cellphone. I was laughing about that when we walked in.

The reception was *lovely*. The bride and groom danced to "I Will." The bridal party danced to "With a Little Help from my Friends." The cake topper was a bride and groom on a motorcycle. I finally cried during the father-daughter dance and had Van there to hug me and talk about the parents who didn't/won't get to see us walk down the aisle. Jonathon and his mother danced to "You Are the Sunshine of My Life," which made me smile (it's on my Red Dwarf playlist).

Aubrey sat with Erica an Andrew at their table, took a bunch of photos and seemed to have a good time. The reception closed with "I Saw Her Standing There" and as we all departed, there were cartons of milk and oreo cookies for us to take with us on our joureny home ("Dean's" brand milk. Tee hee.).

Van won the award for most bobby pins with 53 (I had 38, Missy 27, Caroline 19). Aubrey answered the winning text as she removed my own pins one by one.

I ended up crying again as we left the reception. I'm not sure why, but I'll chalk it up to the event finally happening and being over after ten months of planning. And the fact that it had been a truly wonderful two days and they'd come to an end so soon and I faced less than a week of packing to make the final move to Chicago.

The final move ended up being a little easier than we thought it would be. I tore my old bedroom apart and came out with twelve boxes, two suitcases, three overnight bags and two garbage bags worth of stuff. Erica came with me to help me move the stuff and to attend Beatlefest. She hauled a lot of boxes in her car while I hauled the rest plus Sarah.

Between stops for Sarah and ourselves, we ended up making the trip in a little more than six hours. Aubrey's friend, James, and our roommate, Aaron, were visiting for the weekend and helped us move a lot of the boxes in. Erica stayed at our place and fell in love with the leather sofa Aubrey bought.

We spent all day Saturday at Beatlefest. I decided to ultimatly get an I-Pass, because it is useless to try and navigate the city of Chicago without take toll roads. We left at 9 in the morning, got turned around, and didn't make it to the hotel until a little after 11.

ERICA: "Maybe you should get a GPS."
ME: "Maybe you should shut up."

The joke was on me in the end. I'd switched purses the day before and ended up at the Fest without my debit card and less than $10 in cash. I bought a couple 1" badges from my favourite table (Peter Tork, Bettie Boop posing nude) and got lunch for Erica and me with my credit card.

We got to see and hang out a little bit with shakespearesgrl who was actually working at the convention this year. We compared new tattoos, talked about the engagement, Dad's death, coming back to the Fest after so many years (this was her first one since 2003, I missed it for six years in a row). She gave me a Beatles in Candlestick Park mini-poster as an engagement present (it's now framed and hanging in my living room, Sharon. Thank you!). After the fest closed for the night, Erica and i had a quick drink with her before departing for home.

I also ended up running into Dawn, Linda and Judy from the St. Louis Beatles Fan Club. I saw Linda and Dawn last year but hadn't seen Judy since 2003.

ALL: "So what's new with you?"

I don't think they were quite ready for the wealth of information I laid at their feet: 1)That I'd just moved to Chicago. 2) That I'd gotten into grad school at DePaul. 3) That I was getting married in April. AND 4) That her name is Aubrey.

No, I don't think they were quite ready to hear all of that. But oh well.

The guests this year at the fest were *wonderful*. Ronnie Spector came and charmed everyone with stories about touring with the boys, how close she grew to John, how close George grew to her sister (she and John caught them up in the hotel room once), etc. She talked about being Phil Spector's prisoner when they were married and how it was ironic that he was now a *literal* prisoner. She was very bubbly and fun to talk with, is ecstatic about her first album coming out next year (that is, her first in more than 20 years) and can still outsing most women in their 20s. I was sad to see her leave the stage. I stood in line in her Q&A and when it got to be my turn, I asked if she'd sign my goddess book. She, and her crew, seemed very charmed by the question -- maybe they're used to people bringing up three or four things that are obviously impersonal and going to end up on eBay within a week. It also turns out Ronnie has a goddess book (diary, actually) as well. "It's got a little angel on the front." Lovely lady. I hope she comes back someday or just tours Chicago with her new songs.

Erica was excited to see the Hudson Brothers come back -- Mark and Brett, minus Bill. I'd never really met them before or seen them perform on stage. Mark works mostly as a producer these days and Brett is involved in film and television production. Watching them being interviewed onstage by Terri Hemmert was *hilarious* to behold. They were both full of stories not just from producing Ringo, Neil Innes and Chris Montez, but from getting to hang out with John in the mid-70s. And watching them interact as brothers is just damn funny. Watching them perform together was lovely. I don't care if Bill Hudson ever shows up at Fest (they're trying to get him for next year) as long as Mark and Brett do.

I missed Paul Saltzman this year -- the author of "The Beatles in Rishikesh" couldn't make it to Chicago. The former 20-something (now 60-something) who turned up at the Maharishi's ashram wanting to learn about TM, was told he couldn't come in because the Beatles and Mia Farrow were there, and elected to camp outside the ashram until they were gone and he'd be allowed in. As the story goes, the staff were so shocked they let him in after the sixth day and he was allowed to study alongside the Beatles, et al. The photos he took of those months are amazing and he's a talented meditation instructor. I hope he comes next year.

Last by not least.

Aftr the last few posts, I don't have a whole lot to say about moving in that won't be repetitive. So I'll just say the following:

- Neighbors are great.
- Wire shelves and dry wall are evil.
- So is commercial paint.
- Our carpets are loaded with something I've nicknamed "the Black Death." It turns the soles of your feet black three minutes after you take your shoes off.
- We have jamming cellphone and wireless signals in the apartment that may or may not have something to do with the fact that our subdivision is sandwiched between two cemeteries.
- Sarah's getting used to the new place but has some separation anxiety. We're working on that.
- Aubrey's made connections at the VA in Hines, joined a fitness program and is looking to practice her archery and hand-cycling. She's also taking a digital photography course and taking a lot more photos.
- I have both work (American Academy of Art, West Chicagoland Drawing and Painting Group) and work study (Student mail center at DePaul).
- Beatles Rock Band is the best homewarming gift EVER.

37 hours until the wedding...

2009-08-07T06:39:15Z

...I think.

*is horrible at math*

The bridemaids' treadmill starts at 11 am:

- lunch with the bride
- group mani-pedi
- pack overnight bag
- make sure strapless bra is clean and fits well under the dress
- pack the dress
- meet Aubrey
- get ready for rehearsal
- rehearsal
- rehearsal dinner
- staying the night at the bride's house
- up early
- hairdo appointment with complimentary mimosas
- get to the church on time
- try not to trip down the aisle in silver spike heels
- limo ride to the reception
- try not to make a fool of self during the toast

....

AND, somewhere before all of this, I need to pick up my car from Maaco. Who, when I spoke with them yesterday, would not guarantee that it would be ready at 8 am. I told them yes it *would*. Hear's hoping they listened.

I don't ask this often, but why am I still awake?

Because cabin fever's a bitch..

2009-08-06T03:54:04Z

..and The Monkees make it a little more tolerable.

Micky Dolenz is the only man who ever made wearing a tablecloth look good. Patti Smith just wishes she did it better..

The girl's gotta be free..

2009-08-06T01:44:18Z

Parole for Manson Follower, Would-Be Ford Assassin

Okay.

I've stated my opinion on this before. I have... some sympathy for Squeaky Fromme, which leaves a bad taste in my own mouth sometimes. If you read the book about her life, she made a lot of bad choices and put her faith and self-worth in the hands of the wrong people over and over again, starting with her father.

And, unlike the other Manson women -- the ones who *actually killed people* -- she never seemed to be out from under Manson's spell. As recently as 1994, she was still confiding her love for him and the rest of the family. That was the tragedy about her. She was eligible for parole in 1985 and waived her right to a hearing every year for twenty years. While Atkins, Van Houten, Watson and Krenwinkle have two-stepped in and out of hearings, making their case for release (and ignoring the 8 bodies they left behind) over and over again, she wouldn't even complete an application for parole. Why? Out of guilt, the journalists and biographers suspect, because she hadn't "done for the family" like the others.

I hope this means she's out from under his spell now. Finally. She's 61 years old now. Does she have anyone on the outside waiting for her? Anyone who will help her acclimate to the world outside? Who knows.. I don't think she'll hurt anybody now. She couldn't even then.

But who knows? I hope I'm right.

And I sure as hell hope they don't let anyone else out.

Another Sun Records rockabilly legend gone..

2009-08-05T13:44:54Z

R.I.P. Billy Lee Riley

The Arkansas native who recorded at the same studio, at the *same time* as Elvis Presley and Johnny Cash. For those of you who've never heard it, here's his classic (and fantastic!) "Red Hot".

Most recently, it was used as Selma Blair's signature song in John Waters' A Dirty Shame (at 3:39):

In which I finally post the answers from Tracy's interview...

2009-07-30T16:29:38Z

1. Where would you want to go on your honeymoon?

The spasm in my brain says "Scotland." But if it had to be somewhere I've never been, I'd go with Berlin or Prague. Anywhere where I can speak the language.

2. Recently, you've talked about children. What names would be at the top of your list for both boys and girls, and why?

For a son, I want the name Mark in there somewhere -- either as the middle name or the unused first name -- after my father. I also like the name Aidan very much, which evolved from my initial infatuation with the name Adrian (Aidan sounded better with Mark). For a girl, I like the name Annabel, from Poe's poem.

3. What character from any novel do you most relate to and/or resemble and why?

Trillian from the Hithchhiker's Guide novels. I think because she wanted to see the universe and her callous attitude in "Mostly Harmless" is more like me than I'm usually comfortable admitting.

4. What character from any novel do you think I most resemble and why?

You'd be the Mad Hatter from Alice. No question.

5. In your personal beliefs, what is the afterlife like?

I think it's -- of all things -- most similar to the father's beliefs in Audrey Rose -- I think we all go to a quiet place where we meditate on our existence, sort out how we feel about all of it, reach Enlightenment and either move on to the next life or choose to break samsara. At the same time, I believe the afterlife and this life are inherently connected through the Universal Mind. That's why I don't think it's a coincidence when certain songs come on the radio, etc.

A fighting girl doesn't forget either..

2009-07-21T06:33:53Z

Well, I've roamed about this Earth
With just a suitcase in my hand,
And I've met some bug-eyed Joe's,
I've met the blessed, I've met the damned.
But of all the strange, strange creatures
In the air, at sea, on land,
Oh, my girl, my girl, my precious girl,
I love you, you understand.

So, reel me in, my precious girl,
Come on, take me home.
'Cause my body's tired of travelling
And my heart don't wish to roam. No, no.

I have wandered, I have rambled
I have crossed this crowded sphere,
And I've seen a mass of problems
That I long to disappear.
Now, all I have's this anguished heart,
For you have vanished too.
Oh, my girl, my girl, my precious girl,
Just what is this man to do?

So, reel me in, my precious girl,
Come on, take me home.
'Cause my body's tired of travelling
And my heart don't wish to roam.

Yeah, reel me in, my precious girl,
Come on, take me home.
'Cause my body's tired of travelling
And my heart don't wish to roam. No, no.

Well, you took me in, you stole my heart,
I cannot roam no more.
Because love, it stays within you,
It does not wash up on a shore.
But a fighting man forgets each cut
Each knock, each bruise, each fall,
But a fighting man cannot forget
Why his love don't roam no more.

Oh, reel me in, my precious girl,
Come on, take me home.
'Cause my body's tired of travelling
And my heart don't wish to roam.

Yeah, reel me in, my precious girl,
Come on, take me home.
'Cause my body's tired of travelling
And my heart don't wish to roam.

Yeah, walk with me, my love, my love,
Walk tall, walk proud, walk far,
For you know my love, you are, you are,
You are my shining star.

-- Love Don't Roam by Murray Gold, Sung by Neil Hannon

Because I need an excuse to talk to my f'list after weeks of neglect..

2009-07-17T14:06:30Z

Lifted from kahvi:

Leave a comment and I’ll respond with 5 questions so I can get to know you better. Update your own journal with the questions, giving your answers. Include this explanation and offer to ask other people questions.

The long-promised, possibly disappointing "pair modeling" post..

2009-07-13T04:02:59Z

Something most people don't know about models (at least figure drawing models): we all know each other's names, have vague ideas about what the other person looks like from charcoal, pen and ink, watercolor and pastel images. But very rarely do we ever meet each other in person -- unless an instructor accidentally double-books a class or one of us happens to be a university student killing time in the department.

I'd met a few via the exceptions above: Eric, a thirtyish man with long, thinning hair styled to resemble cat ears; and Melody, a ceramics student (famed for her acrobatic poses) who's been posing for more than ten years. In the past three weeks, I've met many more: Liz, the office assistant for the art department with the gorgeous sea horse tattoo on her left arm; Bert, the man Tim Liddy described as the "Sean Connery of figure models" who just had his own show last April (twenty artists with pieces depicting him in various mediums). Bruce, the yoga instructor and former journalist who may be the nicest person I've ever met (and confirms my suspicion that the artist adds twenty pounds to their art).

Joe Owens from Meramec came up with the idea of pair modeling for his summer students as a way of 1)introducing more students to the concept of shared space by having them draw two people instead of one and 2)keeping those of us who rely on modeling for income afloat through the mostly slow summer semesters.

The past few weeks have been my favourite experience at Meramec, apart from the classes I did with Bob Lewis. I loved working with the other models, talking to them about posing, composition, our outside occupations (lots of writers, former teachers, soon-to-be artists in their own right). It was wonderful to talk to everyone and get their opinions on certain things about posing, art students and adminstrators. It made me feel good about the work and reputation I'd established.

If anything, it made me a little sad that I'm going to be leaving StL in less than five weeks. A little.

A recent tidbit about my new neighborhood...

2009-07-10T02:32:22Z

Burr Oaks Cemetery: 'Bodies Will Be Indentified'

..and when I say neighborhood, I mean this happened in Alsip -- in the township where I'm going to be living, less than five miles from where I'm going to be living.

....

And all I can think is "at least it wasn't Restvale Cemetery." Because then it would have been *across the street*.

Nicked from nyghtshayde, majorenglishesq and others..

2009-07-02T15:05:27Z

..because I can't resist a good meme.

A
- Available: Unless modeling. Or packing up to move.
- Age: 26
- Annoyance: Looking for work.
- Animal: Cats and Dogs
- Actor: Chris Barrie, right now.

B
- Beer: Oh yes. The more malt, the better.
- Birthday/Birthplace: May 29, St. Louis, MO
- Best Friend(s): Caroline, Tracy, Kat
- Body Part on opposite sex: Hands (same sex too, acutally).
- Best feeling in the world: waking up well rested, without an alarm.
- Big words: pulchritudinous
- Blind or Deaf: Deaf, because I could always get an implant.
- Best weather: The cool, green and flowering of early Spring.
- Been in Love: Many times.
- Been bitched out?: More than I've deserved at times.
- Been on stage?: Yes.
- Believe in yourself?: More than I did a year ago.
- Believe in life on other planets: I think it's definitely possible. Even the Catholic Church says so.
- Believe in miracles: Not in the conventional sense.
- Believe in Magic: Re: above.
- Believe in God: Re: above.
- Believe in Satan: Re: above.
- Believe in Santa: Not since I was nine.
- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: Yes.
- Believe in Evolution: Yes.

C
- Car: Cougar
- Candy: Junior Mints
- Colour: I love red, black and purple. Not necessarily together.
- Cried in school: Not after the age of six.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican: Chinese.
- Cake or pie: Cake.
- Country to visit: Scotland.

D
- Day or Night: Night.
- Dream vehicle: TARDIS. I think most of us are in agreement on this one.
- Danced: When I'm alone, all the time.
- Dance in the rain?: And risk slipping and falling?
- Do the splits?: No.

E
- Eggs: Scrambled with onions and roasted peppers. And lots of tabasco sauce.
- Eyes: Hazel.
- Everyone has a: geek streak.
- Ever failed a class? A few my first few years at college.

F
- First crush: Davy Jones actually, from the Monkees re-runs on MTV and Channel 11.
- First kiss: Dirty old man.
- First name: Rebecca.
- First thoughts waking up: Mmmmmm--
- Food: Peppers, veggies, numminess

G
- Greatest Fear: Car crashes.
- Giver or taker: Giver, though I may have to fight Aubrey on this one.
- Goals: To continue making a living as a writer, editor and general art hag.
- Gum: No.
- Get along with your parents?: I loved my father though we differed significantly on how we viewed the world and people at large -- he was very frustrated by life. My mother is, too, but for different reasons. The three of us have had our highs and lows.
- Good luck charm: The sterling silver penis I wear around my neck.
In Girls/Guys:
-Eye colour: I didn't set out to do it, but all the people I've been serious about in any way have had blue eyes.
-Hair Colour: Doesn't matter.
-Short/Long hair: I like long hair on men but it doesn't matter either way.
-Height: Most have been taller than me.
-Clothing Style: T-shirts and jeans, neat, clean.

H
- Hair Colour: Reddish brown right now
- Height: Petite. I'm 5'4"
- Happy: Usually about *something*, even when a wholesale of other things are going to pot.
- Holiday: Halloween.
- How do you want to die: I know how I don't want to die and that's through illness. I refuse to go out in a hospital.
- Health freak?: I enjoy my salads, my veggies. I also like dark chocolate and iced coffee. So no.
- Hate: Pretentiousness. And wholesale cynicism (that is, cynicism about *everything*).
I
- Ice Cream: Ted Drewes concretes are nummy -- Cardinal Sin (cherry and chocolate) is my fave.
- Instrument: I started to teach myself guitar when I was 10. I was teaching myself "House of the Rising Sun" when someone took a swing at one of the kids with it.

J
- Jewelry: Glasses, silver necklace, my father and grandmother's high school rings, my college ring, a ring bearing Tibetan characters for 'Om Mani Padma Hum,' blue lace agate and crystal quartz mala beads. Sometimes the yellow and black and rainbow woven bracelets I got from the pow wow.
- Job: Modeling for the art colleges, freelance writing and proofreading.

K
- Kids: Someday, not now.
- Kickboxing or karate: Kickboxing sounds like it would be fun to learn.
- Keep a journal?: This one.

L
- Longest Car Ride: So far, the one from Chicago to Fayetteville in which Aubrey and I both got sick and snapped at each other a few times.
- Love: is frequently misunderstood.
- Letter: I suppose it'd be an 'E,' since I have so many of them in my name.
- Laughed so hard you cried: Oh yes, and it's wonderful each time.
- Love at first sight: That doesn't happen for me usually. I'm too terrified of people getting close.

LAST PERSON WHO...
1. Slept in a bed beside you? Aubrey.
2. Saw you cry? Aubrey.
3. Went to the movies with you? James.
4. You went to the mall with? ....Mall?
5. You went to dinner with? Aubrey .
6. You talked to on the phone? Chris from Fontbonne -- giving him the schedule for next week.
7. Made you laugh? Erica, probably. She tends to do that.

M
- Milk flavor: Non-existent. Can't stand milk most of the time.
- Movie: Last one I saw? Night of the Living Dead.
- Mooned anyone?: No.
- Marriage?: We're discussing it.
- Motion sickness?: Oh how I wish I didn't.
- McD's or BK: Burger King. After six years of working there, I can't eat at McD's.

N
- Number of Siblings: Two.
- Number of Piercings: Five.
- Number: 9.

O
- Overused Phrases: "It's interesting." "'you know what I mean?"
- One wish: To have steady, half-way predictable work once Aub and I get settled into our new home.
- One phobia: Food stains on clothes (more of a peeve really).

P
- Place you'd like to live: Cooler climate, urban area, huge arts community.
- Perfect Pizza: Chicago style deep dish, pepperoni and jalapenos.
- Pepsi/Coke: Died Pepsi

Q
-Quality: Giddy.

R
- Reason to cry: No money for coffee.
- Reality T.V.: None.
- Radio Station: I have five I flip between. My favourite is KZQZ 1430 AM here in StL.
- Roll your tongue in a circle? I can do three loops actually.

S
- Song: Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps by Doris Day, Keep A' Knockin' by Little Richard and Jet Boy, Jet Girl by Elton Motello (right now)
- Stolen: A slice of cold pizza from the refrigerator
- Shoe size: 8 to 9.
- Salad Dressing: Greek
- Sushi: California roll, yes.
- Scent: My own sweat these days.
- Skipped school: Not in a long, long time.
- Slept outside: No.
- Seen a dead body?: Yes, I have.
- Smoked?: Yes.
- Skinny dipped?: I once went swimming in my McDonald's uniform shirt and a pair of shorts to avoid doing just that. But I was also with friends.
- Shower Daily?: Not always.
- Sing well? Certain songs. I can only sing as high as C major, as low as G minor.
- In the shower? Once in a while.
- Swear?: All the time.
- Stuffed Animals?: Oh I have several.
- Single/Group dates: Single dates. Group dating always irritated me.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries.
- Scientists need to invent: A cure for AIDS.

T
- Time for bed: Late, late, late.
- Thunderstorms: Oh goddess, I *love* them, esp. at night.
- TV: Cable news, reruns of crime dramas, criminial justice stuff and, on dvd, BritCom and sci-fi.
- Touch your tongue to your nose?: Can't.

U
- Unpredictable: I prefer to think of myself as Chaotic Good.

V
- Vegetable you hate: Asparagus.
- Vegetable you love: Pepperocini peppers
- Vacation spot: I want to go back to the Highlands in the summer time.

W
- Weakness: A tendency to panic, worry and allow anxiety to paralyze me in times where action is needed.
- When you grow up: I hope to be surrounded by good friends, good family and good food.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Caroline and I are a lot alike, but I think the honour actually goes to Jenna.
- Who makes you laugh the most: Several people do. Edward and Bill maybe the most.
- Worst feeling: Can't breathe.
- Wanted to be a model?: I am one, actually.
- Where do we go when we die: I'm the first one to say I don't know and it doesn't matter -- how you treat yourself and others, the environment you create here is far more important. That said, I think we actually transmute and become part of the Universal Mind in a different way. I feel the interaction of at least one person in my life who's passed on
- Worst weather: Humid, high temperatures, no breeze.

X
-X-Rays: I had a chest x-ray when I was sent to Urgent Care. They made me take one of my piercings out for it.

Y
-Year it is now: 2009
-Yellow: Book.

Z
- Zoo animal: Penguins
- Zodiac sign: Gemini

My girlfriend boycotts movie theaters..

2009-07-01T14:41:03Z

..who is going to see Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs with me?!?!??????

Anyone?

Caroline? hereinmypants? quietkindofcraz?

Things I love..

2009-07-01T04:13:45Z

(..because I do not want a (purposely) photo-less obit to be the last posting in June.)

- Rainer Maria Rilke's Sonnets to Orpheus

- Sobe Lizard Lava

- Doctor Who dvds (Patrick Troughton and Tom Baker)

- Pair-modeling (which I will describe later, at great length)

- The Borders powers-that-be who apparently fired the *entire cafe staff*

- Red Dwarf dvds from Netflix... and DVD Decrypter

- the "Tank Girl" comic Aubrey gave me

- the ring I bought for her

- my fiancee

Good Night, Michael..

2009-06-26T07:37:51Z

..I wish you the best of luck on your journey and the utmost happiness in the next life.

Be safe and DO NO HARM.

Doctor Who - Zoe Heriot And Her Very Strange Adventure

2009-06-25T18:03:19Z

In keeping with the Doctor Who streak I seem to be on, here's a video dedicated to my favourite Who girl. The song's quite catchy

Up late and playing with Photoshop..

2009-06-24T07:37:36Z

..and I made something for who_secrets I'm quite proud of. This is the non-PC version. I made a nicer version for the comm.

NuWho fans on F'list, the cut here is for you. I adore you and advise you not to look, lest you hate and detest me forever..

"Oh, I love this highway.."

2009-06-20T01:29:10Z

We survived our first road trip together, in spite of fatigue, hormones and deadlines. And it begat good results:

1) We have a place to live. Aubrey and I spent two days in Chicago last week, shopping around for condos. We settled on a place in Alsip (Southwest Chicago): first floor condo, two beds, two baths, indoor heated parking garage with a handicapped space and a ramp, unlimited outdoor parking. It's a few miles away from the Midway and 95th Street L-stops, 45 minutes away from DePaul's Loop and Lincoln Park campuses. Carpet needs replacing but not right away. The master bedroom has this cabbage-rose liner on the walls that I've vowed to destroy with my bare hands. Aubrey made an offer and the seller accepted the next day. The deal closes the first weel of July. nyghtshayde got excited when I told her we'd be living across the street from the cemetery where Muddy Waters is buried. :)

2) I met Aubrey at her place in Evansville, we drove up to Chicago Wednesday. Friday, we drove 9 and a half hours south to Fayetteville for Maggie's birthday. The girls have a three new additions to the household: a stray cat, Chessa, turned up pregnant at their house. They took her in and she gave birth to four kittens on Wednesday, the 10th; two of them made it. I got a nice photo of Aubrey with the two kittens -- one of whom looks like she's going to be tortoiseshell. Chessa took a shine to Aubrey. The two of us bunked on the futon in Maggie and Marisa's living room. The second night, Aubrey poked me awake -- Chessa had curled up and fallen asleep in the crook of her neck.

We had lunch a nice lunch at Common Grounds on Saturday. I got to show Aubrey a little bit of Dickson Street, but we both wore out pretty quickly (five days on the road at that point). We paid a visit to Dickson Street Bookstore and I bought her an untranslated copy of Aimee and Jaguar. We had a late supper at the house that night with all the girls: grilled cheese (as in, "we have five different kinds of cheese. Take your pick") and tomato soup made from scratch in the slow cooker. I love visiting the girls' house, and I'm glad I got to bring Aubrey there -- it's such a nice, warm place to visit.